kristin has been a bad kristin
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
