I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
