I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Alive.
So much puke
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
