I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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