Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
