captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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