Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
