i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
