Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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