It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
