i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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