i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize