If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
