man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
