I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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