thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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