You made me cry and you don't even care
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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