laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
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He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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