Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
