first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
