she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
