i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
