I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
