i just google imaged poop.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
