He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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