I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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