I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
