I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
