All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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