I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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