ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We're like a lot better than the average bears
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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