He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize