Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
