I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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