the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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