I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
