I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My hand turned me down
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
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We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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