using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
