Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize