I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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