she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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