You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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