Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
