Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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