there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
