Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
