Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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