if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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