Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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