My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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