i would punch a child for taco bell
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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