whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
